Birthday on the Roof

Hi Peregrin,

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about a person who I'm interested in getting involved with romantically but he doesn't live around where I am and he's always on the go. I met him a few months ago and gave him my number in a greeting card. This dream involves him and his name is Brett.

I am in at home in my dream but its not my actual house in real life. Somehow, Brett and his friends come to stay at our house while touring. By brother and my mom find out its Brett's birthday. While Brett and his friends decide to go somewhere for ten minutes. I climb up to the top of the roof from the inside of the house and stand and watch Brett and friends back out of the driveway in a burgundy pickup truck...they back out to the left and drive off. He is sitting in the truck between his friends. He doesn't see me watching him. I then go inside the house and talk to my cousin about how she wants to listen to jazz because she is in a sad mood. I said I couldn't talk on the phone for long because I had company over. Then my brother suggests getting Brett a gift but my mom says not to since we don't really know him that well. I was okay with that decision. Later my brother shows up with a blockbuster gift certificate in a CD format and I thought it looked last minute and generic but it had to do since we didn't have much time. I prayed to God begging and pleading for us to hook up since this was a rare and convenient opportunity and what were the odds this situation happening again and it was a now or never situation. Then I remembered myself and I realized I was praying out of fear and I'm not supposed to be begging or pleading for affection. I go back up to the roof and see Brett and company come back up to the driveway in the red truck from the left. I turn to look at him in the truck. He sees me looking and I look away. Brett then comes up to the roof to enter into the house. There is a newly constructed opening in the roof and he's trying to be a gentleman and help me through the opening first but I was too shy and intimidated about him holding me so I just let myself through. We all went to the dining room to celebrate his birthday and everyone is happy. After the birthday celebration is over, I am a bit discouraged since nothing happened. I go back up to the roof for the third time and watch Brett and friends in the truck. This time an older woman with glasses and her daughter who seemed like Brett's niece were seated with him to the left. I saw the girl on his lap and I my heart melted and I said "I'm gonna marry this man!" Suddenly I'm in the house and on the phone speaking to Brett. I don't know who called whom. But I suddenly confess that I had feelings for him and then he said he was interested in me too but that I was too stiff and frozen so the vibes weren't welcoming. Then we take it as one big misunderstanding and tells me to talk to him online. Suddenly, all my cousins and brothers want to talk to him too. He sends me a clip of a movie he is in... a sort of "Lord of the Rings" feel to it. He wears an eccentric mask and he looked weird. I just knew it was him by his eyes and nose. I was just relieved that he wasn't making out with any female costar for the movie.

I know this is pretty long.... Any help in interpreting this dream would help. Thanks a lot.

Yamini

Good morning, Yamini.

It should be no surprise to you that anytime you have something on your mind this strongly, you're likely to dream about it. Sometimes we make things happen in our dreams that we very much want to have happen - this is wish fulfillment. In fact, some nightmares happen because we're so afraid of something that we think about it too much.

In this particular dream, what I see going on is you, trying to figure out how you really feel about Brett. And there are truly some conflicting emotions happening here.

Perhaps it will help you understand this if I explain that every family member in your dream represents another facet of yourself. Your cousins, mother, brother - all represent your own attitudes, while you try to work out how you feel.

In the beginning of the dream, you're watching him from afar while he goes off with friends. This seems like a pretty good parallel to what happened in real life. You're on your roof. This can have a couple of meanings - perhaps you feel so high about meeting this guy that you're "out of your head," or maybe you're feeling slightly disassociated with yourself - or both.

Your talk with your cousin is a reflection of how you feel after Brett leaves. Her sadness is yours. It seems that you're briefly in touch with your feelings here, but then life gets in the way and you believe you have no time for them.

The next conflict comes when discussing whether to buy a gift. Your mother here is the superego, or if you prefer, your "practical" side. You really don't know him very well, and part of you feels that you should play it safe. Your brother ignores this advice and buys something anyway, but it's not very personal. I get the idea that your brother here is your more impulsive side, your id. You're not happy with either solution - probably you wanted to give him a gift, but something that has more meaning. What you have ended up with is a compromise that you're not really satisfied with. Again, this seems like a pretty close analogy to what has happened to you so far.

Now comes your prayer, another conflict. It seems you very much want this relationship to work, but at the same time you don't want to seem desperate. So you move forward, and then pull back.

You're still holding back when he tries to help you from the roof. Here you see him as someone who could help you back into yourself, to get back in touch with your emotions - but your shyness gets in the way. And when he goes to leave, you suddenly want him again. It seems as though you want him more when he's away, but have a problem with intimacy.

This kind of thing can very definitely cause some mixed signals, and I think that your dream is warning of this when Brett criticizes you over the phone. In your dream, you work out the misunderstanding by talking, which is to say, you need to communicate - always the best tactic in a situation like this.

However, I see the movie clip as one final warning, because in the movie he wears a mask. I think you're concerned that you haven't yet seen the real Brett. Depending upon how long you knew him before he went back home, this could very well be true.

You will want to find a good balance between trust and caution, while avoiding sending mixed signals. This may seem like a difficult line to walk. Well, it is, and everyone who wants a long-lasting, loving relationship has to go through it.

Best of luck to you, and pleasant dreams.

Peregrin