Conversations with past friends

I keep having reoccurring dreams with males that I have had close relationships with.

The first male:

Every so often I dream of being at places with my past B/F (we had a long 5-yr. rel - and were engaged secretly. That's a long story itself). In past years he and I have had friendly conversations and where we become friends again and put the past behind us.. yet in the last 12 months those dreams are now becoming where he will allow me to explain or converse with me. The last dream we had, apparently everywhere he went I was there and he went off about it.

The second male:

This involves a male who was in my Senior year back in '91. We were attracted to each other and after about 5 yrs, we decided it just wasn't to be - no matter that others said. We bumped into each other late last year and I got the general impression he didn't want to let on too much of what has occurred in his life. Having said this, the dreams I have involving him have been more reoccurring since that meeting. Scenarios are where I am at his place with my husband and his fiancee/wife and we are having a social meet. Or we are all at my place doing a similar thing. It is friendly socializing and there are times where I try to let his fiancee/wife know that I am not out to get her man.

If you can tell me anything about these dreams, and why I keep having these dreams about these two particular males, please tell me as it is becoming rather frustrated - especially now that I am married and have my own family. Any guidance will truly be appreciated.

Thanks in advance,

ayesha.

Good morning, Ayesha.

Dreaming is probably the most selfish thing we ever do, because even though other people can appear in our dreams, it's not really about them - it's about ourselves, and how we feel. Because of this, every dream character can be seen as a part of ourselves, or a definition of how we feel about something.

In the first dream you related, the boyfriend gets upset because you're always around. This may represent an inappropriate fixation upon someone or something - in this case, you know that your thoughts shouldn't always be on (whatever it is), but don't want to admit this to yourself - so you assign the words to the old boyfriend, someone you know you should not always be around. In a very real sense, you are telling yourself, "back off, don't think about this so much."

Now, as to what he represents. Of course, dream characters can always represent their real-life counterparts, but I doubt that this is the case here, because your dreams are not always about him exclusively. Rather, you dream about two old boyfriends - so these dreams seem to be about past intimate relationships in general. You could even be thinking about how your relationship with your husband has changed from what it was when he was just a boyfriend. Whatever the case, you're trying to tell yourself that you're thinking about the past too much.

The second dream that you relate seems similar, but not identical, in its message. In this one, you're telling yourself that things are not how they used to be, and want to reassure the fiancee that you're not obsessing. Remembering what I said about dream characters, though - she's a part of yourself that you're trying to convince here. You want a healthy relationship - you're not trying to bring back the past, but you would like to be on speaking terms with it.

This kind of dream might occur if you seem to be missing something from your current relationships, something that you used to have. It could be romance, intimacy, or just some time alone with your husband without the kids around. It could be a job you used to have. I'm sure, however, that you can identify it, because it will be something that's been on your mind a lot lately.

Pleasant dreams,

Peregrin