Stealing in the Gym

Dear Peregrin,

Hi, I had this weird dream last night and I am hoping you'll help me figure out what it means.

It starts off when I am in this weightroom/gym and I am trying out this new exercise machine (where you're in this harness swinging back and forth and you have to pick up all the coins on the floor) The trainer says that I did bad because it took me a long time and I had bad form. Next I try another exercise, this time it looks really easy to do, (It had 2 large "rubberbands" and you just pulled them to your chest one at a time) I did it okay a couple of times then I slipped and fell and everyone saw and laughed at me. Afterwards I go to the locker room but my locker is in a different place than usual (it's right next to this guy's named A- [they're Co-Ed changing rooms). A- has the kind of sense of humor that is very childish (fake farting noises, burps etc.) He really annoys me. He then goes on to say that he would have chosen a different locker if he had known it was right next to mine. After a while almost everyone leaves and it's just me and a small group of people behind me. from inside the group I hear N- (this guy I like) talking about how he was really upset because he lost a ring he was going to give to 'her' (I assumed 'her' was his girlfriend which I didn't know about so I get upset). He said the ring was really expensive ($23.00)and he even called her parents to see if they saw it. Then the room clears out and as I am leaving I find this bag with several gold necklaces in it, and I figure it must have been what N- was looking for, then I put it in my purse with the intention of keeping it.

I thought the beginning of this dream was really kind of wierd since I don't work out or anything, what do you think it could mean?

Thanks,

Ashley

Good morning, Ashley.

The situations you describe from your dream sound like nearly every teen anxiety wrapped up in one big package.

You're criticized by the trainer (teacher) for being slow - anxiety over school performance.

The exercise is picking up coins - worry over being less wealthy than peers.

You're told you have bad form - anxiety over physical appearance.

You cannot pull the rubber-band exercise and everyone laughs - fear of peer ridicule and anxiety over physical development.

You're in a co-ed changing room next to someone who repulses you - increased awareness of changes in your body and worry over lack of privacy.

Everyone leaves - fear of abandonment by peers.

The guy you like is calling someone else (giving her a "ring") - well, you get the idea.

I know it doesn't seem this way when it's you going through it, but these are worries and fears shared by practically everyone. Everyone suffers from these fears, and they all suffer in silence, thinking that only they feel this way.

Your dream, however, takes it one step further - you take the bag of jewelry in an obviously spiteful attempt to get back at someone who's hurt you. But what N- is looking for is a ring, while you found a bag of gold necklaces (and, if they're real gold, each one is probably worth much more than $23).

The message, as I see it, is that attempts to get back at someone whom you think has hurt you will actually do harm to someone innocent of wrongdoing, and the desire is completely out of proportion to the actual hurt. It may be, in fact, that no one has actually deliberately hurt you, because you never hear who the "her" is that N- is talking about - you just assume that it's someone else and not you.

For this specific message, my advice would be to hold off and not do anything hurtful - not right now, anyway. For the greater message - about all the worries and fears - I'd say that you may have more allies than you know about. Parents and school counsellors come to mind, and you may if you wish write back to me at any time.

Pleasant dreams,

Peregrin