Framed

Okay I'm hoping you can help...

About 2 months ago I broke up with the guy I'd been with for about a year. I loved him and all but wasn't terribly heartbroken when we broke up. I guess kuz there was no closure -- he moved and we just kinda... stopped talking.

Anyway, in the beginning, I never dreamt of him. I never did when we were together either. I mean maybe he'd walk past me in a dream, but never anything significant. But as of about a week ago, suddenly I'm dreaming about him all the time.

In a lot of dreams he comes up to me because he wants to talk, and he's angry with me. And there was another dream where he called me into a room and he was holding this picture in a frame... he told me his ex-girlfriend's tires had been slashed, like he was accusing me. Then he said his sister had done it.

I don't understand why he's suddenly popping up in my dreams. Any advice?

Thanks so much :)

Amy

Good morning, Amy.

That's good insight on the closure issue. It's not easy to process any kind of loss properly, if we don't have some kind of tangible proof of it. This is one of the big reasons people need to view the body at a funeral - so that they know the deceased is really gone, and they can let go and start to heal.

So what you have in your dreams is a representation of an old issue which never really got resolved. This is the reflection the dream has on your waking life - most of us have more than one unresolved issue like this, the mind simply chooses an image to represent that kind of thing - in your case the ex-boyfriend.

There's some confusion about his anger over the slashed tires - it seems as if he's blaming you, but then admits that he's not. I'd guess that you may be feeling guilty about something, but are not sure that you really should. We do this to ourselves a lot, and it's hard to stop. I'd bet that these dreams have to do with this misplaced guilt, and a need for closure on some issue. This hunch is backed up by the frame he's holding - quite literally, you feel that you're being framed.

I'm afraid I can't get more specific without knowing more about what's going on in your life, but I'm fairly sure that you can take it from here and spot the actual problem.

Pleasant dreams,

Peregrin