Torn Apart

Ok, well a little background first...

My grandmother passed away not too long ago. Her house was the only place I could ever come home to. Since she died, I've had several dreams that have taken place in her home. This one however struck me as strange.

I enter the house with my boyfriend. However, I walk straight through the house and leave him inside. Instead of just walking to her room, i proceed to walk out the back door and walk down the gangway. I go to her bedroom window and two of my best friends are there. One I have known since I was six and the other who i fell in love with and left my boyfriend of three years for. However, like in the dream, we are back together. Anyway, I walk to the window and I find it open and the friend of mine who I had fallen in love with extends his hand to me. I grab his hand and my dream focuses in on our embraced hands. However, something is trying to pul us apart, however we don't break the embrace.

Now I have analyzed this dreams by looking through several dream symbol books. However, I did not find them satisfactory. I am wondering if there are any hidden meanings or strange significances in this dream.

DreaminOf You

Good morning, DreaminOf You.

If you've read much of my work, you already know that I do not use dream dictionaries unless I'm really stuck for ideas. Dream symbols are very individualized, even though some archetypes seem to be universal.

Houses in dreams tend to represent our innermost selves, especially one like you describe, where it's the only place you can "come home" to. By bringing your boyfriend there, you are expressing a desire to have him be an integral, permanent part of your life.

The interesting thing here is that you don't stay with him in this house, your own soul. You leave out the back and then try to get back in through the window. This particular window is your innermost comfort zone, since it leads into your grandmother's room. Your friends from your past are trying to help you get in, essentially you are trying to get back in touch with yourself by connecting with your past.

The conflict here is that you, at this time, are feeling a little disconected with yourself. This could have consequences upon your current relationship, and I think this is most likely the source of the problem - trouble reconciling feelings from the past with feelings from the present.

I get the impression that, however you're trying to regain your sense of balance, you're going about it wrong - or at least in a roundabout way. This is because you do not go through the house to get to that room, but rather try to enter it from outside. This can be seen as looking externally for validation and love, without an internal sense of self-worth or self-love. You can't get into the window from outside - just as it's very difficult to bring your life into balance without searching within.

Pleasant dreams,

Peregrin