Friday, October 28, 2011

8 Mile

Dear Peregrin.

In waking life something like this happened, but I knew all about what was going to go down. I was the one that pushed it to happen. There is a reason why I did. Stupid me, regret that now and so does he. Which now the relationship is on an up and down (but it is doing a bit better). Long story though, but thought I add that to see if it changes the dream interpretation. The situation did not happen like in the dream. That situation happened a week ago. It involves his ex by the way.

This is the first dream: Last night, (August 1) I had a dream that I walked into my bathroom. The shower curtain was drawn closed, but I heard noises. It was a white shower curtain, but I was able to see the skin of the people in the tub. There was no water or shower running. When I drew open the curtain, my boyfriend was having sex with another woman. My boyfriend had a "flushed" (best way I can put it) look on his face, but at the same time it almost looked apologetic.

The dream then changes and I'm lying on the kitchen floor of my parent's apartment waiting for him to call me, which he never did. In my head (thoughts of how the conversation would probably go when he called me) I am having a conversation. I'd hear him and me talking. He was telling me that "It was not what I thought" and I was saying to him "OK, whatever!" That is when I woke up.

I had a dream this morning (August 5) I woke up crying from, but you will see why. I had this same dream years ago for the exception of the start of the dream, but I will tell you when the dream I had years ago is taking place. The dream starts with me standing in front of 2 very tall men in business suits. I am also there with another girl. I cannot see her face or theirs. I have a feeling (in the dream) that they want to make us 'prostitutes' and we don't want to. I manage to have a knife that I throw at one of the men. I think it stabs him in the left hand. While he is focused on the stab, I run. I come to this white metal door with a keyhole. I try to open it, but I can't. I push, I run into the door, but nothing. At the same time, fearing that if I do not open the door, the man will catch me.

Then I hear my boyfriend's voice saying 'kick the door!' So on the first kick it opens. When the door opens there are staircases, one going up and one going down. I think to myself if I go up, he will catch me on the roof. I take the stairs going down.

I then find myself embracing with my boyfriend. I feel that in the dream my boyfriend is a homicide detective. While I am embracing him, I look to his right and see the girl that was with me in the beginning of the dream standing and getting some kind of red liquid poured over her. It almost looked heavy enough to be spaghetti pasta sauce. I felt that she was being transformed into something, while she had this liquid being poured over her she was screaming. I feel that this girl is my boyfriend's ex. For some reason, my boyfriend did not pay no mind to her. He was only focused on me.

This is when the dream I had many years ago begins. While we are embracing, I look at him and say, "You know, I had this dream before and you were the man in my dream." He then looks at me and says to me, "cause I am the man of your dreams." He then smiles at me and we kiss.

Then this short Hispanic guy with brown complexion shows up in the dream. He is dressed in typical detective clothing. He is my boyfriend's partner. He is speaking back to another cop and telling him that he was going to get 3 burgers and that we were going with him. We walk over to his car and his car is white, it almost looks like a convertible. The backseat of the car, you have to pull out of the car it is very weird. You have to pull them up as you would with a sofa bed. I hope you can picture what I am trying to say. My boyfriend is the one trying to get the seat up by the way.

While we are talking this guy comes over and my boyfriend's partner (as well as I can remember how the conversation went) tells my boyfriend that what the guy is holding is some kind of new drug called '8 mile' or 'Mile 8.' Suddenly there is commotion and a man with a gun shows up. I think his name is Steve; at least this is the name that comes to mind or that I hear I am not sure I remember correctly. He is about 30-50 feet away from us. He starts shooting, to make it short, my boyfriend gets shot, but I cannot remember if he got shot trying to save me or if he just got shot by a bullet because it was aiming at him, I'm not sure.

Suddenly everything goes very slow, my boyfriend falls forward; I manage to put my arms under him and manage to turn him over. My boyfriend looked like he was already going into shock from the bullet wound. I did not see any blood on him so I did not see where he was shot. All I knew is that he was dying in my arms. I started screaming, 'No, no, no!' and crying.

I then woke up crying and saying 'No, no, no!' My boyfriend was in bed when I woke up. I hugged him really tight. Since waking up from the dream, I never realized how much I love him and need him in my life. Now I fear for his life even more now since he works as a bouncer and he may run into these dangers.

This part of the dream I am about to tell you was not in my original dream. My boyfriend, my boyfriend's homicide partner, and a friend of my boyfriend (in waking life) and me are on a boardwalk. I looked towards the ocean and see a big, giant ferris wheel in the ocean. Where I live the amusement park is called Deno's Wonder Wheel Park. The Wonder Wheel is the name of the giant ferris wheel, which is the one that was in the ocean. It is sea green with the outer edges and the letters 'Wonder Wheel' in red. People were within it and were trying to roll it themselves in the water. They were far into the ocean. For some reason, I did not find it abnormal, so I paid no mind to it. Then focused my attention back on what I was doing before I noticed the ferris wheel. I feel that this part of the dream was like the 'intermission' before the final curtain call is the best way I can put it.

I've been told that when you dream of someone getting killed, it usually means that the person will live a long life. The dream concerns my boyfriend since I had it many years ago before I knew him; I dreamt with him and now that I know him, I dreamt it again the same way.

I would really appreciate your feedback on this. I am afraid of this dream coming true. I know this is long, but I wanted to be as detailed as I can be.

Thank you.

VM

Good morning, VM.

There's no apology necessary for telling more detail - it often helps me come up with a reasonable translation of the dream.

The emotions you have for your boyfriend are complex, from the description here. Not only do you feel love for him, but also something like gratitude. In your dream, he saves you from being forced into prostitution - this indicates that, without him you have a lower sense of self-worth. This is not exactly the healthiest viewpoint to have of yourself - ideally, you should feel valuable in and of yourself, even with no man in your life.

That's the bad news. The good news is, that's the worst part of this dream.

The type of backseat you describe is rather old-fashioned - it's called a rumble seat and it used to be considered slightly scandalous to take someone on a date in such a car because that's where couples necked. The implication here is, you feel very comfortable in a more old-fashioned, traditional role with him - supportive, obedient, the whole works -- yet still very desirable when he's around.

The reference to "8 Mile" reminds me of the movie of that name, featuring Eminem. This rapper has a reputation for being full of anger and hate (whether he deserves it or not). When your boyfriend is shot by the person carrying this drug, this represents negative emotions killing your love.

I'm getting the idea here that the first dream is inspired by something that happened in real life - your boyfriend was unfaithful (or seemed to be), tried to apologize, and you rebuffed him. Because in this more recent dream, you're feeling regret over your actions in the first dream, and nothing comes from nothing.

The ferris wheel - a ride which goes up and down - is a good symbol for your current relationship, just as you described it to me - up and down. It is headed out to sea. Water is an emotional symbol, and to voyage on the ocean on that particular ride indicates that you are very willing to take the ups and downs in order to make this emotional journey with your boyfriend.

This is why I see your second dream as more positive than negative. A person simply has to be willing to ride the ups and downs if a relationship is going to work over the long term. Sometimes you will be angry, sometimes you may not even feel as if you love the guy at all. This is part of a normal relationship, which is something that people don't tend to tell you but it's true. Usually, these times are temporary, and you need to be able to ride them out.

I would still advise that you work on your self-esteem. A low self-worth often causes people to stay in relationships that have gone completely sour or even abusive - not the same thing as a temporary lull in the romance. But, on the whole, I see in your dream that you have the courage and commitment necessary to get through this tough time.

Work on your communication - the main problem presented in the first dream is not his infidelity, but rather the lack of communication on both your parts. And good luck, and pleasant dreams.

Peregrin

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