Unpaid Bill

Dear Peregrin,

I am a 35 year old woman. Last nite, I had a dream that I was a teenage boy with 2 younger sisters and a mother. There was no father around. I do have 2 younger sisters in reality and my mother was a single mother, but I didn't recognize the faces in the dream to be my mother or sisters. This dream was so embarrassing because I think I was going thru puberty. I kept having erections and kept masturbating. It was so real. I would have to keep excusing myself in front of others to go and 'relieve' myself. (embarrassed) I was never with a female, which was a relief to me.

Anyway, I remember being in my childhood home in this dream. and I kept feeling that I was overwhelmed with female energy. Always gettin used by women/ females. After the episodes of self stimulation, I remember giving my mother some money to help with the bills. some of that money was to be used to pay a cell phone bill. My "mom" pays the bill but doesn't pay my cell phone bill because she says that the company understands. Instead, she buys herself new clothes. She manipulated me into thinking that what she did was alright. I felt emasculated and angry by this. I wake up.

Please see if you can deciper this weird dream for me? I would definitely appreciate it.

Nneka

Good morning, Nneka.

If you've never before had a "cross-gender" dream, it can be little unsettling, but in fact they are not uncommon at all. They do not normally have anything to do with sex or desire. Rather, the symbolism is used to portray a certain frame of mind - whatever it is you think or feel about the opposite gender, this is how you are feeling about yourself right now.

The family situation you describe gives us some clues. As the only male in the family, the boy in that situation would commonly be called "the man of the family," yet is usually unequipped to deal with this responsibility. Instead, he is too absorbed with his own, rather embarassing, problems. This is supposed to reflect a situation in your current waking life. The key is to focus upon the feelings.

In your dream, you get through this phase of self-absorption and start to focus upon others. Giving your mother money to help with bills can also be generalized to represent any situation in which you have given of yourself - money, time, or emotional commitment - and it was not appreciated, but rather squandered. This kind of episode is all too common in our lives, ranging from family, to relationships, to work, even to hobbies. Again, focus upon the feelings: manipulated, used (particularly by women), emasculated (powerless), and angry. What situation in your life has made you feel this way?

Pleasant dreams,

Peregrin