In MY Bed!

Dear Peregrin,

I had a dream last night when I went to bed after talking to my boyfriend, Jay. I was asking him if his ex was at his house,(which his ex was) and if he was in his bed. I asked if they sleep together, he said yeah, but we're not intimate at all. He says all they do is fight and argue and that I should be patient and give him time so he can get all this crap straight. I don't know if he's lying or whatever. I don't understand why he can't let his ex go. Anyways...the dream I had last night...

I was at home outside standing beside my backporch doing something (I think I may have been feeding my puppies) and I saw my bf and his ex (not really his ex, I just found out the other day how he ex look and the guy in my dream didn't look like him) this guy was very big and muscular.

Anyways, this was during the daytime and my bf and his little "friend" came up on my backporch. Jay(bf) had his back turned against me. Then my mom let them both into the house. So I went into the house, and my mom was just in there to be in there. (She really served no purpose in the dream I guess) I went into the house and into my bedroom. There's an iron board next to my bed. I go into my room, and the side I SLEEP on at night was where my bf and his little friend was kissing and groping etc. Jay was like on top of his friend and they were just kissing. Then I woke up.

That's all I can remember from the dream. The dream sorta had me confused from jumping scenes etc. but I do remember the general happenings in my dream.

Cedric

Good morning, Cedric.

The ex in the dream is represented by a big, muscular guy because he's a threat to you and your place in Jay's life. The ironing board next to the bed is a direct symbol of needing to "iron things out" with Jay. Their behavior in your dream is exactly the behavior you suspect of them in waking life. It's happening in your bed because you regard Jay as "yours" and the ex's presence is an intrusion upon your personal life.

There is no such thing as a dream symbol with no purpose. Your mother is there for a reason, even if we don't manage to figure out what it is. My guess is, that she represents qualities within yourself that you feel allowed this situation to happen - most likely submissiveness and supportiveness.

If it were not for the fact that the so-called "ex" is still very much a part of Jay's life, I might say that these dreams are representative only of your anxiety, and recommend communicating your fears with Jay. But it's ludicrous to be asked to believe that someone is sleeping with their ex but is not being intimate - like admitting to smoking marijuana, but denying inhaling. Merely being in the same bed together is behavior far too intimate to justify calling him an "ex."

While it's still true that the dreams are a result of your anxiety, that anxiety is the result of this relationship. My advice is, redirect your supportive nature toward taking care of yourself, because Jay is just taking advantage of you.

Pleasant dreams,

Peregrin