Monday, June 20, 2011

Smell the Roses

Dear Peregrin,

An unusual dream I had last week was that it was night time and I was looking out the window, the window was opened and I could see outside. Well,this guy I've been seeing(we both claim we have feelings for each other,which I know I do for him)was dressed up and walking out the house with a black suit on and a flower and some cards in his hand. So he was heading to his car, and I said out the window, are those for me? He said "yeah" then he came over to the window and let me smell the flowers, but didn't let me read the card that went w/ the flower. He didn't give me the flower after I had smelled them, and then he walked off and went on about his business.

That was the dream. I think about this guy all the time. He came over my house last Sun. and left Monday morning, told me that he would call me that night. He never did. So I left him an offline message. Tues. I saw him online, and I sent him a message,no response. Then Wed. I called him on his phone,his phone was off. Then I called back like 20 minutes later and left him a message to call me. He finally calls yesterday morning after a week had passed. I don't know if the dream had any relevance to him or what. But we have split up for a week because he claims he still has feelings for the ex. I even caught the ex at his house one time. Long story to go with that, but maybe another time...can you help me analyze this dream?

Cedric

Good morning, Cedric.

Your dream seems like a straightforward representation of your suspicions concerning this relationship.

By looking out of the window, you feel "shut in" and not a part of the larger picture. By only allowing you to smell the flowers, but not keep them nor read the card, you feel excluded and slighted. He's dressed as for a date, and he leaves you alone - reflecting your suspicions of cheating.

While your dream reflects only how you feel, I'd have to say that in this case it sounds as if such suspicions are firmly grounded in reality. When people avoid conversation, there is usually a reason for it.

I also see in your dream a tendency toward submission. You feel as if you are the victim here, and you take no action in the dream - you stay in your room and allow him to go about his business. I see this trait in your waking actions as well. By calling him repeatedly, you make yourself seem desperate and you place the control in this relationship firmly in his hands. While some people may enjoy feeling this kind of power over others, no one respects such behavior.

Since you have agreed to a temporary split-up, I'd suggest that you take the time to meet other people. Build your independence. He is obviously not willing to commit, and that may not change anytime soon. Of course, this is entirely your call - but that's my point: it should be your call.

Pleasant dreams,

Peregrin

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