Dream Girl

Dear Peregrin,

For the past few nights, I have been having dreams with a girl (possibly a girlfriend) in them. I can't recognize who the girl is and she never speaks, but we are always in a girlfriend/boyfriend situation. In the most recent dream, last night, I was with my family driving up north to go camping and she was with us. We were all talking in the car, the two of us in the back seat with her in the middle and my 12yr old brother on the far side, and when she leaned forward to get something off the floor, I reached behind her to wrap my arm around her stomach, pulling her closer to me. That is when I awoke from the dream. I can't remember the past two night's dreams with her in them, but they are the only dreams I have had in a while. Like I said, for the past three nights, 'she' has been in my dreams and I don't even know who it is.

For a little background, an old friend and myself had been testing to waters to see if we wanted to date, and that ended with her ex-boyfriend coming back into the picture. I don't know if that has anything to do with the dreams or not. But I do know that in the dreams this 'girl' is exactly the type of girl I picture myself dating. She is just what I am looking for (only not in a dream). Thank you for whatever you can make of this dream.

Justin

Good morning, Justin.

Whenever someone starts looking for a romantic relationship, that quest is bound to be represented in dreams as well. From this we can get a clearer picture of what we're looking for, and possibly some hints on where to proceed from here.

In your dreams, the girl is not familiar from your waking life. This tells me that you are not set upon a particular individual, but rather the idea of having a girlfriend.

There are not many clues to your dream girl's identity. She's obviously someone you're comfortable with - riding in a car with your family places her in the same class as family. If her silence is a clue, then she's someone with whom you share a non-verbal rapport which borders upon telepathy. And that's about all I get.

I suspect, however, that her silence is because you haven't really given much thought to what you're looking for, beyond the general physical appearance.

In the car she's seated between you and your 12-year-old brother. I'm guessing that there's about three years difference between your ages. You're on the verge of adulthood, whereas your brother is still "just a kid." Having a girlfriend would emphasize this difference between the two of you - hence she sits between the two of you.

I pick this age also because the physical contact you have described is free from obvious sexual overtones, although it's obvious that you are beginning to desire such contact. The act of pulling her close to you is a mental reaching out which directly parallels the physical closeness that you want but do not yet have.

You pull her to you as she is reaching for something else. This is possibly the best clue that your dream reveals. It speaks of an opportunity which you see, but she does not. Perhaps the girl you are seeking, is not actively looking for a boyfriend at this time. It's up to you to make the first move.

I can't tell whether your old friend is the girl in the dream. Even with her ex currently back in the picture, anything is still possible. It seems to me that he wanted her back merely because of jealousy, which doesn't usually last. I don't think that you have, as yet, developed any real attachment for her in particular, or it would be her face in your dreams...and you wouldn't have given up so easily.

But what I do think is, you have ample time to look around and date a few other girls, and this is what you should do. Don't be in a rush to find your dream girl - try to get to know some more real ones, and "que sera, sera." Also - and I can't stress this enough - don't fixate upon the physical type from your dream, or you could miss out on "the one" when you do find her.

Pleasant dreams,

Peregrin