Nothing To Give?

Dear Peregrin,

A group of people and I walk from one place to another. My husband and I walk together. I feel love and desire for him. We are seated around a large table and are being assigned various parts in a play, for we are a troupe of actors. It is a foregone conclusion that my husband will play the male lead. But I am ignored, and find myself seated farther and farther from him.

Another woman, who has also been overlooked in the casting snorts in exasperation, takes my hand, and leads me away. As we walk, I think about what a talented actress she is, and cannot understand why she was not given a part. As for myself, I think that if a part was something I could relate to in my actual life, I could probably read a line convincingly, but I know that I am not a good actress.

As I walk and think, I notice my pretty green dress and white shoes.

We arrive at a restaurant, and sit at a table outdoors. Before she sits, my companion goes to all the tables and gathers up all the people who are alone, and asks them to join us. I scoot my chair over to make room. There are several women, at least two men, and an older woman who at first objects to eating with us, saying "They are all Goyim." But she soon feels the warmth of the group, and settles happily, glad to be included.

To somebody who wonders why he or she was included, I say "Well, because you were dressed for it," because by seeming coincidence, we are all wearing clothing of a similar fabric, a delicate green, printed with small white flowers. The women are wearing pretty, summery dresses and the men have shirts in the same fabric.

We have a wonderful time, so when my companion says it is time we were getting back to the actor's group, somebody says "We should give each other something to remember this by." One of the people my friend has invited to the table wistfully says "Oh, you mean you want something from us." To reassure her, I say "Oh, no! We will give YOU something." but when I search my pockets, I have nothing to give. I feel sad that the connection with those people is now severed.

Pandora

Good morning, Pandora

I think you already had a clue about this dream when you named it. You may be feeling left out of your husband's life, or some part of it. Perhaps it is his work, for you know you are not a great actress, but still feel you could play some small part.

You know that you are not the only woman in the world who feels this way, for all the companions at your table are "cut from the same cloth." This common experience transcends normal prejudices and bonds you as a group.

But, even here, you feel you have nothing to offer, so you feel you have no place and will not be able to rejoin these women, either. This can translate directly, saying that you feel you have no place, group, or activity in which you truly belong.

Based upon my opinion of your dream, here's my advice, if you want it: don't give in to despair, and don't attempt to define yourself by other people. Get out and find things that interest you, and participate. You will find that you do, indeed, have much to give.

Pleasant dreams,

Peregrin