Relationship

Hi Peregrin,

I look forward to your interpretation of this dream which occurred December of last year.

Howard is a man I had dated from April to June of last year.

In my dream I lived in a converted warehouse in which about a third of the building was my flat/apartment and the other two thirds was space designated for the drama workshop. The building was similar to a dolls house in that one wall was missing and every one could look in and watch everything I did.

A female from the workshop walked up stairs to my flat and gave me three white tea shirts telling me I should bring one when I attend drama class. I did some house work and then decided to go to drama class and took one white tea shirt with me.

All the students were in a circle, playing Chinese whispers. I did not join the circle but sat on a chair behind the girl who had given me the tea shirts.

She turned around asking me if I had met Roger. In reply I told her that I had not met Roger and then curiously enquired about Roger. I was told that Roger was the guy who lived in the flat before I did and the girl giving me the information seemed a little surprised that I hand not met Roger. Two ideas came to mind Roger maybe dead or Roger is Howard.

I then went back upstairs to my flat and I did not have the tea shirt with me. I continued my house work then Howard visited me. I had not seen him for quite some time and I was pleased to see him. We chatted for a while and then he left. A few hours later Howard returned which seemed strange to me. We were chatting in the kitchen and then I led him into the sitting room offering him a large comfy cream leather armchair. As he sat down I knelt beside him and told him that I do not want this. In my dream I was telling him I do not want this type of relationship. I woke up with the words repeating in my mind "I do not want this. I do not want this. I do not want this!"

Thanking you for your time and attention

Sweet Dreams

Sophia

Good morning Sophia. It's nice to hear from you again so soon.

The layout of the flat suggests a life on display. Perhaps you felt that you had no privace, or time to yourself. Or, perhaps you felt that you had no secrets - nothing to hide. I tend to think that it's the former, because so much of the flat is not living space for yourself, but rather devoted to a drama workshop. This would indicate a feeling that much of your time is spent hiding behind an act; that you cannot be yourself.

I find the t-shirts interesting but puzzling. You're given three, but told to take one - obviously you'll need the others later. You dutifully take the shirt with you to drama class, but nothing is done with it - and you don't have it with you when you return to your "private" quarters. It strikes me as a useless and arbitrary requirement. Such shirts are usually worn under other clothing, as a protective measure - perhaps it represents a need to be especially careful not to let any of yourself show through the veneer of your outer personality?

I had to look up "Chinese whispers." When I played this game in grade school, we called it "telephone" or "rumors." I think that's what it represents in your dream - you do not participate in gossip; you are out of the loop.

I think that there's little doubt that Roger and Howard are different aspects of the same person. Roger may be a side of the personality that is rarely shown, perhaps not in a long while and never directly to you. But you suspect the presence of this personality, which is why you feel uneasy when Howard returns - this is "Roger."

I think that the rejection of the relationship is not so much a rejection of Howard, or even necessarily of Roger, but the fact that he has secrets and you do not. This arrangement seems very one-sided to me.

If this were a more current dream, I might advise you to tell Howard about your feelings, and try to arrange some more "me-time." I get a strong feeling, however, that you already knew this.

Pleasant dreams,

Peregrin