Long Hair and Spiders

DEAR PEREGRIN:

Do you have an interpretation on dreaming of spiders???

I have scary dreams about them. They look at me in a menacing way and also TALK!!!

Also, do you have any idea of what it means to dream about having a fabulous long, soft, lustrous hair?

This last dream gives me a lot of pleasure.

Gabriela, the DayDreamer

Good morning, Gabriela.

I usually like to deal with a little more detail before offering my interpretation of a dream. Individual symbols don't really give the whole picture. I'll try, anyway.

The key here is not so much the spiders, but how you feel about them. You've already said that they are menacing and frightening in the dream. How do you feel about spiders when you are awake? What do they represent to you? I can offer what they mean to me: they are creepy-crawlies; make my skin crawl. They are hunters, and vampires. They hide in dark places.

Once you have determined everything that spiders make you think of, the next step is to apply it to yourself. That's right. Somewhere deep within you are characteristics that remind you of spiders, and it frightens you that these characteristics exist in your own psyche. However, they are trying to tell you something. You can regard it as a message from your dark side, if you like. The dark side of ourselves is always there; it is always real. Often we suppress it, precisely because it scares the heck out of us. We always think of monsters as something else and do not ever like to think of the monster that dwells inside.

It's good to keep the dark side under control. However, mere suppression is not control. Often, it is only denial. We must acknowledge the beast's existence, then establish mastery over it. Only then is it truly under our control. I have worked with several people who have recurring nightmares. The scariest part is always related to not being in control of the situation.

Here is what I always try to accomplish when faced with a recurring nightmare: Change what you do in the dream. Face your fear. Confront the object of fear directly, face-to-face, and do not back down from it. In short, show it who's boss. Then -- and this is very important in your case -- learn what it is trying to teach you. The spiders would not be talking unless they had an important message. But you're too busy dealing with the fear to pay attention to that message. Believe it or not, there is a good reason for this: the message itself will require courage to accept. If you do not have the courage to overcome your fear of the spiders, then you will not yet have the courage to accept the message.

Your mind seems to be working at cross purposes when this happens. One part of your mind thinks you really need to know something, but another part is trying desperately to protect you from it. By facing the spider, you tell your inner protector, "It's OK, I'm a grownup, I can handle this." Then it should back off a little bit and allow the message to be heard.

You're probably wondering how you can change your dream actions. It's not as hard as you might think. Usually, all you have to do is resolve to be more courageous. Rehearse the dream in your mind, reinforcing what you intend to do when next faced with the same situation. It won't take long at all before this translates itself into your dream.

As for your long, luxurious hair, I think that this is probably associated with being beautiful, and desired, and pampered. This would naturally be a pleasurable feeling. The real question here would be, do you dream about this as a reflection of your waking life as it is, or as you would like it to be? Again, I would need more details to know for sure.

I hope that this helps you sort things out.

Good luck, and pleasant dreams,

Peregrin