I've been under major spiritual reconstruction for a few years. It's been interesting but a challenge too. Your words made me think about things differently and helped me to have a dream that further explained what's going on.
In my dream, I ran into this man that I had a very brief relationship with three years ago. (In real life, I felt a deep connection with him that I've never felt with anyone else. He didn't feel the same so it ended. He was kind about the breakup but it hurt all the same. I haven't dated since.) This time though, he was about 100 lbs. heavier and he was completely in love with me. I was a little put off by his weight and I did NOT trust him at all. He was very affectionate and tried to hug me and hold my hand but I was embarrassed by his weight and afraid he'd leave me again so I was real stand offish towards him. (I don't understand why I had an issue with his weight. I tend to like my men on the burly side so it was an odd reaction for me.)
He didn't care. He knew exactly what I was feeling and gently persuaded me to walk arm and arm with him. I did but I wasn't about to let myself feel the same way about him that I did before. I stayed cold and unpersonable towards him.
After a time, he looked deeply at me, smiled, held my hands to his heart and said something along the lines of, "I'm ready for you. I'm just waiting for you to be open to having me." I stood there feeling ashamed for my behavior-being so closed off to someone who has so much love for me. Then, I woke up.
So, the lesson is: I need to learn to open up to people. (Friends, family, potential partners, etc.) I also need to continue letting go of all my negative and shame filled emotions. Which could easily require the assistance of my acupuncturist...and a good dream interpreter. :)
KarenGood morning, Karen.
You might also want to consider the possibility that your dream was outlining your feelings as they exist. Perhaps you did connect with this man like you have with no other, but it may be time to let go of that.
Your reaction to his weight is what points me toward this. Normally you would not be put off, but in the dream what should attract you, repels you instead. This sounds like a warning to listen to your sense of reason a bit more in your next relationship.
On the other hand, the shame you feel later on is a taste of how it will feel to ignore your instincts in favor of logic. What may be in order here, is some kind of balance - trust seasoned by caution.