Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Mystery Girl

Dear Peregrin,

Hello, first and foremost thank you for reading this and getting back to me with a reply. Without beating the bush much further let me jump right in.

A while back I had a dream where I was sitting with a girl. I can't precisely remember what she looked like but we were on a wall. She didn't have a name, and if she did I can't remember it. Well we began talking and we both soon realized that it was all merely a dream. She looked at me scared and asked me what happened when I woke up. She wanted to know if she was going to live or die or stop existing. She thought completely on her own separate from my own thoughts. I told her I didn't know. She then hung tightly on me and I held her back. I woke up crying.

That was some time ago. Then a few days ago I had a dream where I was on an island. On that island there was a school. For some reason I was attending it. I can't precisely remember the events that took pace only that the school was large and it was very dark. The sky was dark and water was rough and it was windy. I had accidentally dropped something. A ell phone I believe and I forgot about it. When I remembered it I was in class. In the class I was in there was a girl I like. Well to try and get her attention I stood in front of hte class asking if anyone would like to come search for my cell phone with me. The only person to reply was a quiet girl. I think she was red headed. So I sighed and agreed. We began walking. I can't precisely remember what happened but we soon fell in love. I was happy. I soon woke up after other events happened that I can't precisely remember. What I do remember is the girl was with me through out the rest of the dream. She also gripped onto me and was afraid of me going. I soon realized it was the same girl who realized she was just a dream...

Realizing this made me remember another dream I had that remains with me, I can't remember everything precisely but I'll do my best to describe it. It happened after the first dream and before the second one I described. Well in it I woke.As I usually do when I first wake up I roll over to check my cell phone. I see I have a few missed calls and a voice message. It was from my ex. I got out of bed and went to take my brothers to school as I typically do. Except the sky was dark the wind was blowing and something just seemed wrong. I realized it was just a dream and I woke up. I rolled over to check my phone. I had a weird voice mail from a girl begging for my help. I didn't know who it was and I felt terrible about it. I got out of bed. I then ended up at the mall where there were a few people I knew. I realized it was still a dream and I got pretty upset. Then I saw a girl up after some escalators and I realized she needed some help. I wasn't sure who it was, but even though I knew it was only a dream I decided to help anyway. As soon as I go up to the girl I woke up. This time I was upset. I cursed and said if this was still a dream I would be very pissed off. I roll over to check my phone. Another call the same girl. Then something else. Well I end up at a movie theater. At the movie theater I see a strange looking man. I walk up to him and for some reason I ask him who he was. He told me blatanly he was the reason I could not wake up. I stood there as he laughed and merely called him a dick.. That's when velociraptors started attacking. I had to kill them all and he told me if I wanted to save her I would destroy them all. So I was well on my way. Until I woke up. This time I was so angry I went to check if I was asleep and punched myself in the face really hard. Needless to say this time it wasn't a dream. Well I went around all day thinking about it.

After having the second dream I described I realized the girl in the above dream was the same. The same girl in all three dreams. Now a little about me to help clarify things. First and foremost I have a few mental illnesses which are not being treated. This does include DID unfortunately. I have history of abuse among other things. I am currently 20 out of school and unemployed. I have a deep interest in the paranormal and the undead. My original presumption was that this girl was a succubi, but that would be impossible because she would appear more often and she would perform sexual acts with me in the dreams. She also wasn't any sort of vampire because there are no vampires that have that capability (with adult males anyway).Also it could not possibly be some sort of ghost since no other paranormal activity is occurring in my house.

Also my typical good dreams aren't what many people consider good. The dreams I enjoy are ones filled with monsters and zombies. I usually battle whatever it is and I wake up fulfilled, it's any other dreams (especially realistic ones) that I can not handle. Hopefully that is enough information. I just hope that you can provide some sort of help. I could not figure this one out on my own. Thank you in advance.

Joel

Good morning, Joel.

These are fairly fresh waters for me - no one else who asked for my help with dream analysis has ever admitted to DID. And I have to say that I'm concerned that you're not getting treatment. There's only so much that I, as an amateur, can help you with.

The good news is that you ought to be able to readily comprehend that all dream characters are actually you. You write the script, you make up the characters, you act it all out. You then cut yourself off from them and treat them as separate people. We all do that when we dream, but you might do it while awake too. With this in mind, let's first look at that girl.

The most persistent thing about her character is that she's afraid and she needs your protection. In the first dream, she's afraid that she won't exist without you - which, if you think about it, is literally true. She is your Anima - your feminine qualities embodied. Or, at least, those qualities which you associate with the feminine, which probably include being caring, sympathetic, and yes, afraid and vulnerable. But she also represents your more compassionate side - the part of you who does not want to solve every problem with violence.

It's pretty obvious that you do prefer simple problems. The kind that you can confront directly, and physically. This is why you prefer to do battle with zombies and other monsters. It also explains your propensity for violence and abuse while awake. But you realize that this is a very limiting view for you, which is why you need your Anima. If you could summon up her patience and diplomacy, you might be able to keep your Beast in check.

I believe that this brings us to your second dream. You're looking for something that you've lost, and she is the only person who can help you find it. That's spelling out pretty clearly that you need the qualities that this girl represents in your life. The object might be a cell phone - this of course represents communication. You want to work on your communication skills, and you need more open communication in your waking relationships. The classroom setting is a direct reference to learning, and we all get them whenever there is something we need to learn.

Your third dream, with all its false awakenings, is indeed frustrating, and I hope you didn't hurt yourself too badly with that punch! Each time you "awake" you check your phone. Of course, since you do that when you really are awake, it's not surprising that it carries over into your dreams. But it's a repeated reference to communication - or rather, miscommunication.

You've "slept through" opportunities to communicate in your life. The cell phone messages represent open communications. The calls from your ex could be the chances that you can't get back, but the calls from the Mystery Girl might represent opportunities not yet wasted. Like with voice mail, it's on you to reply. It's your responsibility to communicate.

The man keeping you from waking up is also a part of yourself. Generally a strange man is a representation of Shadow, who is your innermost desires. And repeated dreams take us back to learning - if you're having the same dream over and over, then you're not getting the message yet. This means that there's something you want, more than anything else, and either you haven't figured out what it is, or you haven't figured out how to get it. So your Shadow keeps you in the same dream loop, trying to give you as many chances as possible to get it right.

Do you remember my reference to your Beast? I think that, when you learn you have to kill all the dinosaurs to save the girl, you are essentially being told that you have to tame your Beast. When this is done, you can then regain the qualities of your Anima, and thus achieve wholeness. Because, if I've got this right, that's what you're looking for.

Now, please, don't take this as the final word. There is nothing wrong with getting help when you need it, and if there's any way you can manage professional help then you should. This is my opinion - and of course, I think it's a pretty good one - but your mileage may vary.


Pleasant dreams,

Peregrin

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